Oh god my head
by deadpoolhulk
Summary: The X-men spent the last night at a birthday party. the problem is they have woken up and none of them can remember anything that happened. pure crack.


"oh god my head."

"ShuddupJeantringtsleep."

"Argh! ROGUE! What are you doing in my bed?"

"not in your bed."

"Kurt? Please tell me we didn't…"

"No! Are you insane! Rogues my sister for starters! Creepy."

"An' fo seconds. I woulda had to kill you Kurt."

"that too."

"Gambit?"

"GAH! Can someone please explain to Jean that whatever the hell happened last night ended with all of us asleep in the same bed? Except Logan apparently. Wonder what happened to him?"

"ah. And seeing as we're all clothed I can assume nothing happened."

"Exactly dear. Now be quiet. It's very early and your voice is very high pitched."

"Sorry Ororo."

"So….. anyone remember how we got here?"

"Last I remember was Hank and Bobby making out."

"WHAT?"

"WHAT?"

"hehehehehehe. Sorry. That was mean."

"Kitty? I am in awe."

"Kitty? I hate you."

"Why thank you Kurt. And do grow up Bobby. It was Rogue you made out with."

"WHAT?"

"WHAT?"

"…..seriously? Kitty made you fall for it twice? And how do you think he kissed me of all people you idiots?"

"Sorry Rogue."

"Sorry Mon petite."

"Holy crap guys? Who's bed IS this? The things big enough to hold an entire football team! Who would want that many people in their bed at once"

"Ooh ooh! Is it Tabitha's?"

"….."

"Ooh. She's giving you the glare. I'd just run man."

"Good idea. Can you teleport me to safety?"

"And get on the bad side of Tabitha? You're on your own Kitty."

"Some friend you are. Stupid Elf."

"Is Scott still alive? He hasn't said anything in a while."

"Err? Yeah he's still breathing I think."

"I'm hoping if I stay quiet you guys won't drag me into this and I can nurse my hangover in peace."

"That's a good idea actually. Do you think I can join in?"

"Unlikely. You never can shut up Jubilee."

"BOBBY!"

"ARGH!"

"ooh."

"yeash."

"eek."

"err Jube? Not for nothing. But isn't a firecracker to the nuts a little excessive?"

"…."

"I mean…. I'll… shut up. Now. Please don't hurt me."

"Whimp."

"shut up Kitty."

"Best birthday party ever! WOO!"

"Tabitha?"

"Yeah?"

"even if it was your 16th. I'm taking away your planning events privileges."

"aww come on Ororo? You can't say you didn't have fun?"

"I do not remember enough to say. Which means that I did not enjoy it."

"really? You're boring. Not remembering anything means it was epic. Rule of parting."

"How are you this cheery this early Tab?"

"because of how often she drinks heavily and sleeps with loads of people. She's built up an immunity."

"..."

"OH GOD NOT AGAIN!"

"Seriously Bobby? You didn't learn your lesson?"

"this is like the hangover films."

"good idea! Everyone check your phones for photos."

"mine seems to be missing."

"didn't bring mine."

"mine's got nothing."

"battery is dead."

"hey! Scotts has one pic!"

"Kitty! Stop stealing my phone!"

"Sorry. Just currious of whats- ohmygod."

"what!"

"why is she blushing?"

"Scott? What is it? Why are YOU blushing?"

"..."

"..."

"Fine. Yoink!"

"hey! Why is everyone stealing my phone?"

"huh. A picture of Jean and Kitty making out. Whadda you know?"

"No it isn't a- oh hell it is a pic of us making out! What the hell?"

"well that's the best pic i've ever seen."

"agreed."

"agreed."

"Ja."

"yep."

"SCOTT!"

"Jean? Why are you only mad at me?"

"because..."

"wait. Shouldn't Scott be the mad one? Seeing as he isn't Kitty and all?"

"Excelent point. Thank you Gambit."

"my pleasure."

"i... err... that is to say..."

"never seen Jean this flustered before. Kinda cute."

"Tabatha?"

"Yep!"

"ARGH"

"... poor Bobby probably didn't deserve that."

"funny though."

"oh aye."

"So I wonder what happened to the rest of the New Mutants? Sam, Dani, Ammara, Rahne, and Jamie aren't here."

"And Logan."

"and Logan. No wait, Jamie was to young to come. He's still at the mansion right?"

"hopefully yeah. Wait. I can sense the minds of the others. There next door having a really similar conversation. On a sofa apparently."

"well that's a relief. Wait can't you just read our minds to see what happened Jean?"

"..."

"Jean?"

"I'm... kind of scared to find out. I don't want to."

"whimp."

"shut up Kitty."

CRASH

"oh my God!"

"what the hell was that!"

"Someone fell out of the closet."

"Is that Logan?"

"So THAT'S where he went!"

"shut up Kitty."

"Vat was he doing in der?"

"Hey. Hey Kurt. He was doing you're Mom."

"what are you six years old?"

CRASH

"what the hell was THAT?"

"Mystique?"

"Mystique and Logan were in the closet together. Huh. I guess he was doing your mom eh Kurt?"

"SON OF A BI-"

"Language!"

"-TCH!"

"I said Language!"

"Sorry Ororo."

"...I'm going back to sleep. Don't wake me up."

"Good idea Scott."

"That's the kind of leadership we need."

"psst. Bobby. Wanna do this again on your Birthday?"

"yeah. Yeah I kinda do. Does that make me a bad person?"

"YES!"

"YES!"

"YES!"

"not one of You people-"

"-are any fun at all."

"Bobby? Tabitha? Shut up."

"k."

"So where ARE we exactly?"

"I think we're somewhere called the "hellfire club.""

"what makes you say that."

"A telepath downstairs told me. Her names Emma."

"Why am I suddenly getting a feeling of deep forboading?"

"Must be the hangover. Go back to sleep sweetie."

"good idea."


End file.
